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Who would have thought it? Snape only returned fire when Harry persisted in chasing him while taunting him, and even then he used spells to keep Harry down rather than actually injuring him significantly. In some rather distasteful memories, James — along with his gang of friends Sirius, Peter and Remus — was revealed to be a bit of a bully. And Snape seemed to be their main target. So when Remus Lupin appeared at Hogwarts to teach the job that Professor Snape so desperately wanted himself, we can imagine Snape was none too pleased. Over the years he did whatever he could to try to make up for his past as a Death Eater, and he followed Dumbledore — for the most part — without question.
The dawning realisation and his unguarded response showed just how complicated Snape was. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2. Never had a wife. It's truly amazing the posts that have come in sharing these incredible and painful stories. It was an interesting experience writing this book and learning about how much work there is to do for others to understand this disorder especially when it hits the court system. For those who have read that far, I would love your thoughts on that as well.
We would also love to have you join us on Facebook where we will continue the discussion with recovery tips and support. I cannot wait to read more of your book as your article is so spot-on, concise, and accurately depicts the shock, pain and awe these types of people can cause. I appreciate your thoroughness and educating others. Thank you thank you thank you! I used to become frustrated trying to explain to others bc it seems so fantastical and exaggerated. The drama children of a narcissistic parent deal with can not be overstated. My father was undiagnosed NPD. His example as a father and person was the worse kind of role model.
Children learn by watching and doing and my father has pretty much ruined us in surprising and not so surprising ways. My mother was the complete opposite and as most spouses of narcissists know she suffered physically, and emotionally until she dumped him. The children he favored grew up to be narcissists or have narcissistic behaviors themselves. The ones he didn't like struggle with poor self images. Everyone is affected. There are six of us in total and at least 2 have followed in his footsteps and the saddest part is that they readily acknowledge that our father was a narcissist without being able to see it in themselves.
I feel for their kids. They are tyrants! Life with my father was always filled with drama. There was always something to go crazy about even with the very smallest of problems. He never seemed to be able to sit still--he had no peace. He either presented himself as a savior or victim. He believed it was his job to be judge and executioner. Compassion and mercy were behaviors he was incapable of showing. He never said he loved his family. I think it never occurred to him. Putting his family first was impossible for him because that would require him not to put his own needs and desire before ours.
Families with a person with NPD are usually fragmented. The children are the hardest hit as they try to get what they need when they feel it isn't coming from that one person they look to for security--their parent.
I can't describe the terror I felt when my father was around. I never liked, relied or trusted him--ever. His narcissistic behavior didn't come across as self absorption but as hatred towards us. It has been a really, really long time since I last spoke to him but the effects are long lasting. No contact is the best a non NPD parent can do for their children and the worst is exposure.
When my mom divorced my dad I realized there are two kinds of suffering: the first is the kind one has living with a narcissist and the second is when trying to rid yourself of one. The latter is so much better because without them there are moments of sanity and peace. My father was a narcissist with all the charm and rejection of anyone who did not look, behave, see the world as he did. His sister believes his personality was mostly formed by his mother's doting attention. I know he did not have a good relationship with his father. I know there was no abuse.
I currently am raising my 16 year old son with my partner, his biological mother She cannot say no to my son. I have the great majority of expectations, basic chores. He is generally a good kid but "plays" us, asks her for everything if there is any chance I will say "no. I no longer hope that she can see this as damaging to him, do not believe she will change. Any thoughts about how I should try to help him?
I was married for 18 years to a narcissist sex addict. While birthing our only child a few years after we got married, it left me partially paralyzed. His narcissism showed up shortly after the birth, as he would leave me alone in the house with a newborn and my 5 yr old from a previous marriage with no help for weeks on end.
It is amazing how all three of us survived those years. The three of us are healing but we will never be the same. My son has no contact with his father as he remarried 6 days after our divorce and my son decided he'd had enough of his father's evil ways. I haven't seen or spoken to my ex since I threw him out as he never showed up to court for the divorce hearing and the judge granted me everything I'd ask for in the proceedings. My daughter is scarred forever from the abuse as we all are and it is my greatest hope each and every day that we continue to heal.
Thank you, God! I hear about everyone's horrible experiences, and feel terrible that they have gone through that. With that in mind, are there any suggestions for me when going through a divorce no children? My husband is refusing to cooperate in granting a divorce. His lawyer does not engage with my lawyer, perhaps under instruction from my husband.
I am at a loss as to moving forward. Are there any suggestions from people who have gone through similar situations? This is a fascinating series. I was involved with a narcissist in my early twenties - a childhood crush, the brother of my best friend growing up. I didn't know what hit me pardon the pun. I was lucky that he DID hit me. I called a domestic abuse hotline and the woman I spoke with told me "be thankful for your bruise; it is proof of what he did to you. The way I finally left was imagining him throwing our future children against a wall. I couldn't protect myself, but I could imagine protecting the children we never had thank goodness.
From a daughter's perspective there is no escape from the ravenous manipulations of a mother with full blown self serving madness masquerading as normalcy. Narcissism of the madness type, attempts to emotionally destroy the other for their own purpose. Morality, fairness, and compassion don't exist. Children are lost for help; eventually they either succumb, emotionally break, or go off to find a new way. While the narcissist is happy to continue plotting their next move totally unconcerned about the well being of anyone; but, themselves.
Luckily, we had no children. I think this was a blessing in disguise. Having read articles on narcissism, and having one on one counseling sessions with my therapist, made me realize than I am better off a single man. Her behavior was normal at the beginning, then after we married, her true colors starting to come thru; withdrawn, lack of empathy, no boundaries, subtly verbally abusive, to name a few. I believe people with this disorder although I like to think it's mental illness , are truly insecure cowards who have never accepted themselves as they are.
What a shame. Looking back at this experience made me a stronger person and has made me appreciate a great relationship, which I have now. The irony is that my new girlfriend was also married to a narcissist who was cheating on her for years , and was caught lie after lie, and still denied any involvement with anyone else.
Turns out all his "business" trips weren't all business! Needless to say, we have a lot in common. I'm extremely happy to have entered into a new chapter in my life. You are very lucky to be divorced and two have found someone who understands what you have endured! I divorced one. He walked away with 10 years of my hard-earned savings then couldn't figure out why I didn't want to be "friends.
When I sought refuge in the guest room, he would barge in 6, 7 or 8 times a night screaming at me - and those outbursts were always my fault. The day my father died, he left me to see a cousin who was visiting from out of town. He had every therapist hoodwinked with his "deep feelings" and the "hurt little boy within. I feel for you. The day my Dad died my husband now ex said to me: "Good, now I don't have to deal with him anymore. It was 20 years ago and I still think about that on the anniversary of his death.
Yes, I also went to therapy and my narcissistic spouse had them all fooled with same deep feeling bullshit and the pity party for the little boy - they are very manipulative, as one comment stated this is a mental illness not a personality disorder-they are truly evil people. Dealing with a high IQ bipolar narcissist was a nightmare. Add to that every manner of illness including grand mal seizures that came on whenever he was stressed made dealing with him impossible. When the children were born he felt displaced since he was no longer the center of attention. His emotional abuse and manipulation were hard enough on me, but his taunting, teasing, and belittling the children was more than I could bear.
I knew divorcing him would be miserable and I waited far too long, but luckily he got himself into enough legal drama to be put away for a dozen years for fraud. Now he looks for pity at his plight, selecting one daughter to carry on my tradition of emotional slavery while he manages to alienate the other two as they have not showed the same degree of concern. This article has been a revelation; my partner has been trying to divorce her husband for two years.
Despite a court order requiring the sale of the family home and business assets and the split of the remains equally more or less ; the husband who appears incapable of working gets half her pension He has none he refuses to sign paperwork and is obstructing every possible move towards settlement. He has poisoned the son's relationship with his mother and has openly declared his intent to financially destroy her. There seems to be no negotiating with him; he is determined to have his own way despite the court order, he challenges everything, is openly abusive and threatening towards his wife and is now on his fourth set of lawyers who like he previous three seem incapable of recognizing him for what he is.
For two years he has lived rent free in the family house his wife had to get out and rented he purports to be a builder yet the place is in decay. He is sad sick man. I had a relationship with a narcissist.
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Leaving him caused him to alienate my child, and use the court system to cause me financial ruin for the rest of my life. Courts need to be educated. Don't give up. I have extracted him from my life by not communicating with him, not thinking about him, not reacting to any of his threats or bullying. If your child is safe it is easier to do. So get that handled first at all costs. Then cut off yourself as a source to his energy. It worked for me. He found someone else to manipulate and exploit.
I didn't realize the ugly web I was trapped in until my daughter was born. My highly narcissistic ex-wife began acting in ways that made it clear she felt our daughter was hers, and I was just the father. A possession. There was more going on than NPD—I found out that my ex was a victim of child sexual abuse by her father. Just before we separated, she said to me, "I know you love A our daughter but I have a soul relationship with her that began before she was conceived. Well what do you say to that?!
I loved my daughter more than life itself and still do and made the commitment to stay in her life. The custody fight was terrible but I fought for and got custody little did I know I would pay for that later , and 7 years later she started a full-scale vicious war to alienate my daughter from me when she was 14 , and it worked. I haven't spoken to my kid for almost 3 years—I'm heartbroken. A psychiatrist friend—he's married to my ex's former best friend—alerted me to my ex's NPD. He said, "They can be oh so charming in the seduction phase. You never want to work for or be married to anyone with narcissistic personality disorder, though.
When scorned or shamed, they take no prisoners. If any of these traits register strongly in your partner, don't ignore them. Get advice and get out if necessary. Requires excessive admiration. My brother, a narcissist, just got engaged. He's been married before and it did not end well.
I feel culpable, like I should say or do something.. But I also know that it might be resented and not believed. Until I finally had the opportunity to cut my cancerous narcissistic brother out of my life I was absolutely bewildered by his bizarre wife. My brother's narcissism was so apparent and evident to me that I could never begin to comprehend what kind of woman would be with him of her own free will. She was alien to me. I never figured it out and no longer care. I'm free of him; I guess he's her karma. Very sad for the kids she bizarrely decided to have late in life. I have paid a terrible price for marrying this man.
My crime, was I did not give him the son he wanted. He said "you and the girls mean nothing to me; without a son, I am incomplete. The Minister of our church and three of my girls friends testified I was unfit as a mother. All of these people received large financial payoffs for their lies. My x tried to have me killed twice. Eventually I left the country, with his agreement that I could take the two children who remained at home, until just two hours before departure, and then he had a court order to assume full custody which he obtained without any hearing again buying the judge.
Today, my two older children, both adults and successful do not have contact with me. He has told them I was a cocaine addict. The truth is well documented, and witnessed by a few friends. I live in hope that someday, my children will be free of his influence and wealth. My life was shattered and it took years to restore my balance and sense of self. I'm stunned to see the response of this and the original article. So many of us suffering in a silence created by the monsters in our homes.
I don't have spouse issues but realize now there is indeed a spectrum and that I grew up with three different types of narcissist all three entirely self-involved : a manipulative, neglectful father who showed his best face to the world; a grandiose, bullying brother without an ounce of empathy or ability to relate; and an aunt who I was forced into close contact with and who looks now to have had overlapping narcissist and borderline personality disorder a truly terrible woman. I'm gleeful to report I'm free of them all!
This subject really needs to be opened up so that children and young people can learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in friends, dating partners, and coworkers, so they won't be marrying them at all. I knew I was being brought up by "crazy" people but nobody else seemed to realize it. I'm so glad this subject is being opened up. I'm now teaching my own kids about these people and hope they won't fall into intimate relationships with them.
There is usually 'no' real relationship. There's only catering to their needs, demands, and responding to their outbursts. There is little time left for having a relationship, dialogue, etc. They decide what is 'real' - and from then on.. GC, this is where I am at right now. It has never been a relationship and I am sick and worn out from serving this man. My problem is I have nowhere to go and am scared to get a divorce being he has made me very co- dependant.
It would take me forever to go through what has happened since I have been married to him, now 15 yrs. Being married to a narcissist was wonderful at first, when I was swept into his beautiful and exciting orbit. He had turned his attentions to me. Later, his son and I were too much to bother with, too distracting from his self-focus. When his daughter, who is a sociopath, came to live with us, life became unbearably difficult. Being abused by him for a decade and the divorce that resulted was harder than anything I have gone through.
I was isolated, traumatized, terrified, suicidal. And from his perspective, it was all my fault. I am learning to heal and it is slow and fraught. But I look at my son, now 9, who is beginning to thrive now that he is out of his father's and sister's zones of terror. It will take a lifetime to undo this, but our freedom is worth the thousands of dollars, the agony, and the fear of divorcing him. I am grateful that I was supported mostly by my family and friends, who had urged me for years to leave. Now, I must rebuild my sense of self-worth, which was decimated by this man for so long.
And the guilt I feel Our daughter is divorced from a classic narcissist and they have a parent coordinator who has an excellent reputation, both as a PC and as a psychologist. In many respects, he has been helpful over the past several years but we were surprised and disappointed, early on, over a couple of decisions he made regarding our grandson, one of which was: This 7 year-old child was having a difficult time going to his dad's for visitation and was locking himself in his room when his father came for him, refusing to come out.
It was traumatic - the father blamed the mother who did her best to encourage her child and to find out why he was so reluctant to go. The PC was called on for help. After hearing the problem, he commented that the child was being a brat and his solution was to tell this young boy he had to go and if he resisted, it would mean he would have to spend even more time with his dad than the Agreement called for. It worked insofar as he no longer barricaded himself in his room -- but the PC never spoke to this child about WHY he was so reluctant to go with his father.
To this day, we don't know the reasons. The child is approaching his teen years and still doesn't have a good relationship with his dad who, like so many other narcissists, uses his son as a pawn. I was married to an identical twin. Both my ex and his twin are narcissists and both have explosive personality disorder. It was only two months after we got married that the episodes of rage started and continued every weeks during our 12 year marriage. We did not have one family vacation without an episode of rage. It was frightening to see the transformation.
He was Dr. His opinion was the only opinion that mattered, everyone else had an "incorrect opinion. He had no sympathy for illness. Anything could set him off. A mug not washed, a light left on, being 5 mins late. The punishments never fit the crime. He would pour cold water on or bang pots and pans to wake the offender up at 5 in the morning. He would disconnect the ether net cord pre wifi and take it to work so none of us could get work done.
It became the norm to do whatever it took not to trigger his rage. We were all walking on egg shells. The final straw was when I was painting my sons room and my ex came in, yelled at me, grabbed the paint brush from my hand and shoved me into the wall. It was the first time that I feared for my safety. My oldest daughter heard the yelling and came running upstairs. She tried calling the police but my ex shoved her into the wall and ripped the phone out of her hands and the wall.
Both my daughters told him that they dreamt he was going to kill me while they were at school or that he was going to kill us all in our sleep. He just stood there and laughed. People always ask why I didn't leave sooner. Once you are under the spell of a narcissist, it is hard to leave. They drain you of all your emotional and physical energy. It becomes a matter of survival. It has been 5 years since I left. He is engaged to another woman but told my son recently that he is never going away.
No contact, no contact, no contact! My, now ex, told me that I wasn't loading the dishwasher correctly. This as all the posts is such a sad story. It reminds me of a story of someone I interviewed for the book. He said, " My ex asked me for a plate. I got the plate and put it in front of her and she said, 'Oh, that's not where I wanted it. This is called projection. I got to divorce a narcissist who is a divorce attorney I have not been left alone for 8 years. I finally stood my ground and they have backed down. They will not take their claws off once they get hold of you.
And never trust being nice it is a ploy to get something they want. It's exhausting and I have held off getting on with my life while I navigate dealing with them and raise our 3 kids. Truly is an illness and I see that a narcissist never gets help the victim does. They have no idea and obviously don't care even if they do. I divorced one! He still has not moved on and when everything stopped involving or revolving around him, his temper became worse!
I have so much proof that if the writer would ever like to see my files, please let me know. He still tries to turn things around. He was cheating on the kids, calling hookers, but told his family I was the one cheating when he was. I have the phone records to prove it. They get 10x worse when you divorce them. Get all in order before you do. All your proof, they blow their top! Married and had one child with a NPD. Did not figure out where the rages, the lack of support and the constant accusations came from until years had passed and a threat to the family's unity forced me to check and made me discover the extent of his long going lies and serial infidelities.
Left him shortly afterwards and managed to have him sign a voluntary custody agreement where he looks good and to get a divorce, but he is still actioning me in court nonetheless. He will never let go and uses the court system as a boxing ring with no regards to the harm this does to our child. After significant legal expenses and after realizing that he was really only using litigation to get to me, best move I made was to represent myself. Besides his image, the only other thing that gets a narcissist to react is his pocket book. Every legal move I now make costs me little, but costs him tons.
My sympathy and best wishes to you all. This is truly one of the hardest and loneliest fights to fight, with no end in sight. I feel the pain, but hold onto the light. You have integrity, empathy and decency, and no one can't take that away from you! Please tell me how I can learn about how to represent myself? I'm in a divorce with a narcissist and my money will run out soon I just separated from my boyfriend after four years of manipulation and psychological abuse.
I would have no contact with him except that we have a 2 year old together. Everything I've read says there's nothing I can do about this. My lawyer says we can spend a lot of money trying to fight my ex but that likely not much will change. Will this book give me advice on what to do legally? Also, the only reason I even know about narcissism as a disorder is because he accused me of being one and a drunk and irresponsible mother. My friends and family all agree that his accusations are laughable and that he is the one who is clearly the narcissist.
My son married a narcissist. My husband told hom he was making the biggest mistake of his life if he married her. Having known her only 8 weeks , he brought her home to meet us. We didn't know about the term NPD but we knew we didn't care for her. She turned every conversation back to herself.
They were married within a year, and became pregnant immediately. She has been fired from every position she had but it was always their fault. She would not allow our son to talk to us unless the phone was on speaker. There are many more stories but the gist of it is, he had an affair and she threatened to divorce him. It was his way out. The divorce is taking a year and a half. She managed to tell his commanding officer he was a well regarded Lt.
He was released from the Navy, and she became furious that he took a paycut in his new job. She moved back in with her parents. We have to ask for FaceTime with our grandson and she occasionally allows it. If you are the victim of a narcissist know that if you have something on him that he doesn't want others to know, that you would happily spread it about town if he alienates you from your kids or interferes in your life in any way. He might head for the hills.
Narcissists have serious mommy problems and so aren't real fond of women anyway. My husband of 22 years was a classic case. I tried to divorce him at year 17 because of the toxic household environment and he talked me out of it. Five years later things got worse with the children and I did it. He didn't go quietly. Court orders, etc. He used the children by brainwashing them to believe that I, the mother, had destroyed the family.
It took years before my children, of whom I had custody, understood the truth. As I say to my grown children now, in their 20s and 30 s, "I had to cut out the cancer that was eating away at the family. No spouse issues here but a 'partner' in managing my elderly mother's life, my oldest sister, is a full blown narcissist with vindictive tendencies on top of being bi-polar. She has the need to appear godlike and omnipotent and trusts no one other than her religious fanatic husband and her own children.
For years another high-achieving sibling closest to the narcissist in age was subject to her unrelenting criticism. My sister feels she is the only one who can address my mother's needs, though she has to direct others on how to do so. Unfortunately she is crazy and even has put my mother in harm's way by ignoring physician directives etc. Managing this and dealing with my sister's false perceptions along with unreasonable and unrealistic demands has drained us all.
Unfortunately we can't divorce her. Reading this article helps in managing this albatross who doesn't hang around our necks but burrows deep under our skin. My narcissist ex husband was way ahead of me before I ever filed for divorce. He had started an affair, he had set up his next life, all the while making me believe that we were "alright". When I finally learned of his betrayal, and filed for divorce, he had arranged our financial assets in such a way that I way literally on the streets.
My attorney was at a loss and could not find a way to save my situation. If I had not been the one to take legal action first, his "face" would have been saved, and I probably would have faired much better. However, I could not sit back and wait for him to give our assets to another woman which he was slowly putting those in her name and live with the pain of his deception any longer. Once the divorce was final, he continued to find ways to spew his hatred in ways that were childish and completely unfounded.
Not our first marriage, our children were from separate marriages, he found a way to completely cut me off from his family, grandchildren that I had considered mine since their birth. The only thing different I could have done was to wait for him to file the divorce, rather than taking that power away from him, but the results would have been the same - complete financial and emotional abuse. There is no good way to leave a narcissist. He will win everytime. Kaye and Ellen, My situation is eerily similar. My ex was an airline pilot and could easily have hidden money abroad.
He had been having an affair with a married flight attendant for 6 years by the time I found out about it. The narcissist liar and cheat has the advantage and ensures their spouse is kind, generous and trusting. We never had a chance!! Good to know I am not the crazy woman he had me thinking I was. I feared the same, so I waited six months after he asked for a divorce and we separated, and I filled out the paperwork--in his name.
I made him the petitioner because I knew he would someday show our children and blame me for ruining the family. He was furious when I presented the paperwork to him I was just doing what he asked, I said because I was apparently supposed to fight harder to be with him, despite the fact that he was already involved with a student who had earned A's in 2 of his classes and was half his age we are both professors. According to him, I needed to let him have a year to figure out what he wanted. I told him my 1 and 3-year old boys and I wouldn't wait and he signed in a fit of rage. Then sued for 5 years.
He never would have filed! He had everything. My husband buried his assets so deeply that he managed to pay no child support and at 65 I'm working full time for the remainder of my life. My partner of several years and I get along well and travel extremely well. However, our approaches to and experiences in life have been exceptionally different.
Sexually, she is not very satisfying. As a result I have had an amazingly stimulating and fulfilling personal and sexual relationship with someone else. Not appropriate, but that's the road I followed.
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Hence, I have been accused of being narcissistic. I understand the response. That said, having never had a satisfying sexual relationship in my life I am now I should have left my partner for "Athens other woman," but I don't want others to think I'm always moving on. She knows that he was emotionally closed off. She herself had said that she did not want a relationship ,but instead of taking a stand and telling him what she felt,she runs! The next time,Gideon takes her to a hotel room he owns the hotel and they have a very good time together. Gideon is in shower,and Eva is about to join him when she finds out that Gideon brings all his women there.
She becomes angry,very angry. Now,her anger is justified because Gideon means a lot to her and she too wants to mean something to him. But does she confront him? Does she give him a swift kick which he so rightly deserves? Also she was the one who said that she did not want a relationship,only sex. So does she give him a chance to make up??? She runs. Gideon runs after her and apologizes again. This goes on again and again and again But really their idiocy crosses the normal level the night Eva tells Gideon about the sexual abuse she had to endure when she was a child.
Then she becomes upset to see pity and horror in his eyes,not lust. Really,she has just told the man who may not recognize it yet but in reality loves her fiercely,that she had been a victim of sexual abuse for 4 years and what was he supposed to do??? Jump her. Well to stop her from leaving,Gideon does exactly that. Still,at night when Gideon has another of his terrifying,somehow sexually related nightmare it might be that he too was a victim of sexual abuse ,Eva asks him to tell her about that.
He tries to turn the topic and This time Gideon lets her go. Eva too does not approach him. First,she thinks to herself feeling hurt -- "He does not want to share his past with me. Well,that's a deal breaker for me. She has not tried to approach me. I'll try and let her go.. Well it goes on and on and on like this Eva runs,Gideon comes after her and they have sex and make up and then something else occurs,Eva runs, By the end I was literally banging my head!
Well that's all View all 69 comments. To give credit where credit is due, Sylvia Day is not E. Her grammar is good, she varies her sentence structures and, although her propensity for purple prose is at times off-putting, she's a competent wordsmith. That being said, I would not want to imply there was anything remotely literary about this book. There isn't. Which is a shame, because someone should start writing literary er I decided to read Bared To You because it was sold as a well-written version of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Which is a shame, because someone should start writing literary erotica again. It was certainly gratifying to discover that at least this heroine wasn't a year old virgin who'd never masturbated. However, like FSOG, it casts improbably young people in improbably mature situations. Eva is 22, a recent graduate who has landed a job at an ad agency in Manhattan with little to recommend her. She lives in an apartment with a wine fridge and a bi-sexual roommate who tucks bottles of Cristal on ice for her as a favour.
Gideon Cross is a year old billionaire who seems to own half of Manhattan. I have to admit to being puzzled by the choice of age of the characters, both in this novel and in 50 Shades, until I realized that there is no way the litany of contrived conflicts in the plot would work with even marginally mature grown-ups. It takes characters with hair-trigger reactions, non-existent impulse control and an expectation that your lover comes to you without a past to make the plot move forward.
Just like 50 Shades, the story jerks spasmodically along from emo moment to sex scene to emo moment like pawns doggedly inching their way across a chessboard of adolescent over-reactions. The sex is interestingly written. He's either going down on her repeatedly, or gasping out lovelorn remarks like 'your cunt's so tight'. Well, she's I'm not sure how this goes down with the mommy consumers of mommy porn. Does it remind them to redouble their kegel exercise efforts, or do they resign themselves to saving their pennies for a vaginoplasty?
Still, I'm unsure whether it's the sex that is supposed to get you off or the conspicuous consumption. The book is littered with brand names. An ever-present materialism thrums like drone through the whole novel and is eerily reminiscent of Bret Easton Ellis's psychopaths obsession with brand names.
Along with the consumerism is an unvarying textual obeisance to the buff, ripped, perfect body. No one in this novel has any flaws. No one is plump, no one is bony, no one has acne, no one has visible scars. No one has a single physical shortcoming. It's a world of Calvin Klein ad models, toned and photogenicly sheened in odorless sweat, fucking on the immaculately decorated set of a feature piece for Vogue.
Their perfect bodies might be read as an ironic juxtaposition to their myriad emotional scars. But probably not. It has the heavy taint of soap opera about it: the baseless, instant jealousies that are conveniently forged into both signs of inner damage and smoldering romantic love. There is a supporting cast of the mildly villainous and the long-sufferingly loyal to provide that friction: catty female rivals and overly affectionate gay friends. Puppets to adorn the rococo melodrama. Don't mistake me. There is actually a very compelling and rather serious plot beneath the glutinous and facile emo soup.
Perhaps I'm just not the right sort of woman to read these types of books. I don't need my fiction strewn with glossy images of super-rich lifestyles, impossibly sculpted bodies, decorated with brand products, or have my fictional mental traumas used to such transparently sensational plot-driven ends. The explicit sex doesn't compensate for the number of times I rolled my eyes while reading this.
I miss reading stories about adults. Finally, I am quickly recognizing the blatantly mercenary strategy for publishers to manipulate readers into buying into a whole series by shoddily and abruptly ending the first book. Both this book and FSOG used this strategy. It is a supreme comment on how publishers - even the big ones like Random House and Penguin - have become nothing more than Mall-Chain discount sellers.
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No wonder they are quickly loosing their legitimacy as arbiters of good fiction. View all 29 comments. Fell short of my expectations. I really wanted to like this book. The first few chapters held promise for me. I felt as though it was well written and had good dialogue. I assumed it would be everything I was searching for in my next read but, for me, it fell short.
My biggest issues were being unable to connect with Gideon at all, and I didn't find that the characters ever came alive. I never felt that the book expla Fell short of my expectations. I never felt that the book explained what made Eva so different in Gideon's eyes or why he had an immediate obsession with her. They used sex instead of talking through their horrific issues, and it seemed to fix everything and nothing at the same time.
I don't mind a steamy read -- but I have to be emotionally connected to a story in order to appreciate it, and with this book, I just wasn't. I know there is a sequel, which obviously will explain more of Gideon's character, but I just hate finishing an entire book feeling as though I don't know one of the lead characters. Alpha hero. Left open for more story. View all 53 comments. Shelves: angst-filled , awesome-alpha , terrific-dialogue , scrumptious-hero , intense , scorching-hot , disturbing , funny , emotional , seat-squirmer.
This is a sophisticated, provocative, titillating, highly erotic, sexually driven read and is extremely well done. The title fits the book in more ways than one. It not only applies to the sexual nature of the book, but how Eva and Gideon give of themselves to one each other in body, mind, heart and soul.
Eva is a smart, self-assured woman who finds herself drawn to the charismatic, enigmatic Gideon. Their relationship is initially based solely on sex, but their connection is so po 5 Big Stars! Their relationship is initially based solely on sex, but their connection is so powerful, that they are overwhelmed with the need to be with one another. Most times their dates, rendezvous, encounters…whatever, result in some very primal raw sex. The two of them are insatiable, especially Gideon, who takes it to a level with Eva that leaves her completely undone.
Gideon is all about giving pleasure and then saving his for last. The misting fan could not compete with his exuberant bouts of sex, yet, none of this ever felt dirty, but necessary for the two of them. Much of this has to do with the fact that Eva and Gideon are tormented from past trauma and this is a form of healing for them. So, as the book came to its conclusion the story of Eva and Gideon did not. I was satisfied enough that I could leave them for a while, but I need to know how this all plays out, and that my friends will remain to be seen…hopefully in October!
In the meantime I can't recommend this book enough, you will run the gambit of emotions while you join Eva and Gideon on their quest to find themselves and each other. This is my Gideon I know he doesn't have blue eyes, but the rest Just my thoughts on this matter! There is no doubt that EL James is a gifted author, but Sylvia Day is a talented, skilled writer and has written an exceptional book.
So, if I had to choose between the two…Bared to You Shelves: erotica , kindle.
Hot, passionate and totally addictive read. The chemistry between Eva and Gideon, explodes on the page. They are made for each other. They're not perfect, as they have their own issues to deal with. But as they work themselves through it, you'll be taken on an emotional ride like no other. Wow, what a ride! Gideon If you want a great story with a lot of heat, you can't go wrong with this book. Loved it! View all 54 comments. Aug 23, Jessica Edwards rated it liked it Shelves: erotic-romance , paperbacks-i-own , panty-droppers , alpha-male , bad-boys , billionaire. What to say? Bared to you centers around Eva Tramell, a twenty four year old woman who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Eva finds it extremely hard at times to overcome this past, but she is drawn to young, billionaire Gideon Cross as soon as she meets him. It is later revealed in the book that Gideon is also a childhood sexual abuse survivor. The two must find a way to heal each other in order to move on from their pasts and establish a healthy romantic relationship. I used to love What to say? I used to love reading books about hot men who are playboys, but if I'm being honest, it now bores me because this kind of story is being repeated all the time.
I've actually had enough! Like I want something different for once! Not the same thing being repeated multiple freaking times! Can you tell I'm frustrated with this!? In this book, when I saw that a sex scene was coming up, I skipped all the pages and sighed to myself saying, 'Yup, another one.
And with this series I thought after Entwined with you The men in these series really have a problem, like how many times do you need to get laid I don't know maybe I'm just not in the mood to read this kind of genre anymore View all 5 comments. In order not to step on anyone's toes or hurt anyone's feelings I won't rate Bared to You. As far as I can judge, Bared to You is a sensitive topic because it's already related to Fifty. Frankly, it's not my intention to start a turmoil by writing a negative review. When I'm reviewing a book I want to be able to write about my feelings. I want to be honest, and a review should always reflect my emotions why I didn't like a book.
Naturally it's the same the other way In order not to step on anyone's toes or hurt anyone's feelings I won't rate Bared to You. Naturally it's the same the other way round. With that said, I'm trying to write my reviews in an open and respectable manner. I know this is not always possible--sometimes we get out of line.
We all know that tastes and opinions tend to differ. And that's all right--that's the beauty of books. Bared to You did not work at all for me for numerous reasons. My rating would have been very low and I'll be honest when I'm gonna say that my review would have been the opposite of flattering. Even though I'm happy for those readers who loved the book, I demand that you respect my point of view as well when I say this was a bad book for me. Needless to say that I don't get the hype. Funny thing is while reading Bared to You I never got the Fifty vibes. Bared to You is a different book but I didn't like it all the same.
Personally, I think the book benefits in a major way of the fact that many readers have rec'd it to Fifty devotees. Again, it's all right and it's nothing that will compromise my reading life in a severe way. Anyone who is seriously interested to know why the story didn't work for me may send me a message, and I will outline my issues. Kristen Ashley has written something very beautiful. I borrowed it from her book Golden Trail: "See, that's the beauty of books. We get to take what we want out of them and it can be different for everyone.
You get a good one, you may even find what you need. Anyway, I'm off to the next one. Bared to You was kindly provided by NetGalley. View all 68 comments. Oh well, it is what it is, right? Here are my thoughts about Bared to You. While I agree, the writing was much more polished, I was surprised at how similar the stories are and how unremarkable this one is overall.
And sadly, as in the Fifty books, Eva, the heroine in this story, has completely emasculated him, in my opinion. Another issue I have with this story is a sex scene towards the end that just didn't add up. To avoid spoilers I won't go into details, but will just say it was too soon, too wrong for their circumstances, and not sexy considering said circumstances. Unfortunately, I found Bared to You to be so similar to Fifty Shades of Grey that rather than enjoy this story, I kept being distracted and annoyed by the similarities. The bottom line: The most disappointing part of this story is that I know what Sylvia Day is capable of, and it's better than this.
It's almost as though she and her friends were sitting around bashing Fifty and someone dared her to write the same story, but better. Well, it's the same story, just not 'better. Warning: slightly spoiler-ish 1. I can't empathize the anal rape of a boy and its effect on the man. I am not an expert, but I have personal experience with abuse. The abused all come out different, react differently and are affected, differ Warning: slightly spoiler-ish 1. The abused all come out different, react differently and are affected, differently. That said, what cajones of this author to deal with such issues.
Eva Trammell is an extremely jealous woman who has abuse issues and finds herself deeply, sexually attracted to Gideon Cross in an elemental and, purely, raw way. Of course, Eva must fight this, as this kind of behavior is borderline the same behavior of the tormentor from her past, who abused her. But homegirl doesn't hold out long, and soon Eva and Cross are going at it. But wait, not to forget that in some way which, annoyingly, is never revealed Gideon is as much a survivor of raw abuse as Eva, and his trauma affects him in his sleep, which makes it dangerous for Eva to sleep with him.
Enough issues for you yet? How about this? These two are convinced they love each other, but the minute Eva gets deeper into Cross's life, his past affairs and his society, she runs or breaks down at the first sign of trouble. And every time this happens, there's the chase, except the one time when we get the sense that Gideon Cross has something hidden that makes him too ashamed of himself to keep his pursuit. Further, add in secondary characters of a similarly traumatized gay best friend who takes out his frustrations in orgies, the techy, stalker mom and her filthy rich I-know-everything husband.
There's more, and there's not. The story ends with no resolution or epiphanies I wanted Going to therapy is mentioned but never highlighted. It is just Eva and her equally-issued paramour still hanging on to each other, survivors of mental destruction. Hence, therapy, decision-making and some much needed interventions! Potential headnod for the possible redemption in character development and plot direction that could be taken just from the abuse and reparation aspect alone.
Still, no dice. This series is not for me.
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To each his or her own. View all 23 comments. Feb 13, Clumsy Storyteller rated it it was ok Shelves: the-great-shelf-of-meh , waste-of-time. Re-read it recently and couldn't believe that this was one of my favorites 2 years ago. View all 37 comments. May 28, AM. Clumsy Storyteller Sophie wrote: "Great review Khadidja! Shelves: reads , favorite-treasures , intensely-emotional , g-erotic-romance , heroine-tormented-flawed , hero-tortured-flawed , kindle-owned , sensual-steamy , sex-full , smokin-hot-steamy. I need that for this couple! Coming October is the second installment and I can hardly wait.
Deeper in You. Bared to you book 1. Follow them through sky-high ups and rock-bottom lows as their relationship is tested with demons from their pasts, envy, jealousy, secrets and lies. Yet their biggest obstacles will always come from within. Their budding romance is electrifying, beautifully depicted with plenty of sinfully steamy sex scenes. But they are wounded souls with much to overcome; vindictive villains, surprises and shockers.
Their against-all-odds love was just as spellbinding to read this third time around. Book 1 does not have a cliff-hanger ending, instead is leads you right to book 2 for the continuation of their saga. Gideon Cross is my ultimate hero. His combination of larger-than life personality and uncanny good looks; enigmatic and elusive; intense and in-control; broken and flawed; ruthless and unyielding, yet when it came to his Eva vulnerable, relentless and human.
He was the kind of guy who made a woman want to rip his shirt open and watch the buttons scatter along with her inhibitions. I looked at him in his civilized, urbane, outrageously expensive suit and thought of raw, primal, sheet-clawing fucking. Like it or not, but Eva Tramell is everything Gideon needed.
Five words to describe Eva: Endearing, needy, tenacious, smart and fragile. In my humble opinion likely to become one of the best love stories of all times! Would I re-read this series: Yes. Would I read future books by this author: Yes.
View all 73 comments. This Review is a Warning Label and a Rave! I was going to edit this to tone down the snark factor, but it still felt right the next day, so I am keeping it. Note to those who hate erotica, are disgusted by the Fifty series, think Fifty was a psychopath because he was possessive, This Review is a Warning Label and a Rave! You will likely find all kinds of things to dislike about this book as well and will trash it in your reviews also. So again, I would like to encourage you not to read it in the first place really tempted to add the word, "duh" here. Even if this book becomes sooooo popular that you feel "compelled" to read it because of the "hype".
Even then. Don't do it. Trust me. I know, I know But stay calm. Control yourself. Don't let your twitchy finger hit that one-click just yet! You know, I'm trying to help you avoid that thing you did with Fifty when you read it and HATED it- exactly the way you knew you were going to when you read the other reviews that described, in detail, all the kinds of things you would hate about it ahead of time You know?
So let me be clear: My warning is for the readers who made the decision to read the Fifty series based on 5-star reviews and popularity who moved out of their genre, taste or reading level to do that. Then they trashed it. Trashing a book because it is out of your taste range and deals with subject matter you would normally find toxic or unappealing is redonk behavior. Okay, that said, let's move on the raving portion of our program : As I mentioned, Bared to You is amazing, gripping, and sexy. It is clearly a nod to Fifty and distills that series which was hugely flawed as it was written by an amateur, neophyte author and re-works it into a polished, well-paced, engaging story with a similar, but unique storyline.
The writing here is excellent. Not because it's poetic or lush or any of that, but because it is clean and efficient and didn't get in my way, ever. The story and characters are the stars of the show. They are riveting.
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The narrative is about two very flawed, emotionally scarred people, both victims of childhood sexual abuse and explores their process of working out the emotional and relational "issues" that arise as they participate in this highly-charged, sexual relationship with one another. The characters feel co-dependent at times and things get pretty intense and cra-cra several times. If you need your characters to be good boys and girls, to remain emotionally stable throughout the narrative and to never pose a risk to the other at any time or ever engage in unstable behavior, stay away.
That said, the characters do not tie each other up he may tell her to hold onto something and not let go a few times, but he never binds her and they do not physically punish one another well, except the mighty slap.